


Harder to Breathe

by gloatingraccoon



Series: Paid In Full [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bonding, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Established Relationship, Light Spanking, M/M, Polyamory, Rivalry, Rough Sex, Smut, Tentabulges, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:12:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloatingraccoon/pseuds/gloatingraccoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Eridan Ampora and you really liked how Sollux's voice sounded as he said the word - kismeses. Plural form, implying a relationship. You didn't really like the rest of the rant - although he did not say anything more than what you already knew, to be honest - but you feel a little less insecure about it all. This is getting serious, isn't it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harder to Breathe

**> Eridan: rewind.**

You can't rewind. Not yet.

You don't quite remember how this started, if it was one of your snide remarks or his. You remember he was playing some stupid starship shooter on the living room tv, and you remember the triumphant glow you felt when he ended up turning it off and giving his attention to you. You remember the usual needling and teasing, the frustration of being verbally cornered and the delight of being listened to, if only to be foiled at your attempts at getting under his skin. You remember at some point you were ready for a dramatic exit and made the mistake of turning your back on him, and you have no idea how the fuck he moved so fast but next thing you knew you got slapped on the butt, not hard enough to sting, but not gently or playfully either. You remember you jumped in a mix of shocked and unprepared and hopelessly aroused, then he smirked and grabbed you by the scarf and led you upstairs.

You don't quite remember how you ended up in your room of all places. You must have had the upper hand at some point because you remember pressing him against the door, licking and biting and sucking at his chapped lips, one leg grinding between his, his hands under your shirt, teasing and pulling at your side gills. At some point both your shirt and his ended up on the floor, keeping company with your scarf and cape, and he must have taken you by surprise, really, because there's no other explanation for your current predicament.

Because right now you're sprawled belly down on the bed, with Sollux straddling you and pinning you down by the wrists.

**> Eridan: unwind.**

The pressure of your blood pusher drumming wild in your ears relaxes barely enough to give you a moment to collect your thoughts. You could just turn around and slam him aside with your elbow and you'd have the upper hand again. It would be easy. If you don't factor in his psionics, Sollux is just a twiggy nerd, while you've lived most of your life hunting with a laser rifle roughly the size of your body, other than being several rungs of the hemospectrum higher than him. You have just a moment to think of this, before Sollux shifts to lie down over you completely, his breathing caressing your gills, and you can't help but shiver all over at the maddening heat of his skin on yours. And then you realize something you weren't quite expecting. You realize you're not going to turn around and get the upper hand again. Because that's not what you want. What you want instead is a bit more complicated to put into words and admit with yourself, but you'll be damned if it isn't true. You hiss as Sollux sinks his fangs into your neck gills, pain soon soothed by the warm, delicious touch of his tongue, and your hips spontaneously buck up against him. You hear him snicker on your skin, and you spontaneously close your eyes, flushing.

"Really, ED? So excited already?" he whispers, slipping one hand under you to rub at your bulge through the clothing, and you have to bite down a moan, pressing yourself in his touch. "If you're going to spill in your pants I'm outta here."

You let out a little growl, and as he grinds his hips against yours your eyes roll back, because you're pretty sure that is the hot swell of his bulge pressing between your legs, and all of your body is tingling now.

"Doesn't feel like you're not gettin' into it, pissblood," you whisper breathlessly, and he snorts.

"Oh, I haven't 'gotten into it' yet, fishfuck. But you know, I can do that any time you want," he whispers, and you gulp, effortlessly grasping the double entendre because yeah, that's precisely where your mind was going anyway. He fingers your belt, pulling at the buckle, and you arch slightly to let him open it. "And you want it, don't you?"

It's kind of hard to deny it since you're lying limp on the bed and letting a twiggy little lowblood do whatever he pleases with you, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction of actually asking for it. So you bite your lip and just comply when he drags your pants and shorts down, exposing your butt and part of your thighs. You could swear Sollux purrs as he strokes your exposed bulge, making you shiver, then his hand plunges lower, between your legs, tracing the lips of your nook. You stiffen and spontaneously spread your legs a little, needing more but not daring to ask.

"Oh yes. Someone here is a little needy," he says on your neck, and something about the tension in his voice confirms you he's just as excited about this as you are. Then he slips one long, bony finger into your nook and you can't help but whine needily, arching up against him and spreading your legs some more, which he only takes as an invitation to push two fingers in, making you gasp and shudder. His touch is quick and confident, but not rough or rushed, although not gentle either, as if he wanted to know where your limits are before testing them, and god, you hadn't fully realized how wet you had gotten, and it's incredibly embarrassing but at the same time it feels so good, having his fingers slip and fill you so easily. You're used to doing this alone, but having another person doing it to you is a whole new world, especially because it's your kismesis, and despite how you really enjoy being active with him, you can't deny that you've wanted him inside of you from the first time he touched you. You're panting and shivering as you move with his hand, and his breathing on your skin is broken and unsteady as well, and there is nothing like this, nothing quite like knowing that he needs you and desires you just like you do. You actually shudder and groan in frustration when his fingers leave you and the weight on your shoulders is lifted, and a clinking noise behind you tells you he must be undoing his pants in turn. His fingers, wet with your fluids, trace your spine from your neck to your tailbone, making you shiver and arch, then he lies down over you again, and you gulp, feeling the hot, slick form of his bulge between your legs. You tilt your hips to meet him, but instead of pressing in, he just lets his bulge slide against your nook. His knuckles brush over your skin and you can tell he's holding his bulge back with his hand to prevent it from entering yet. You grit your teeth.

"C'mon, Sol," you whisper, arching against him, and he just repeats his cruel little trick.

"You really are a desperate little thing, aren't you," he teases, nibbling at your earfin. You whine both in pleasure and frustration as he slides again on your sensitive flesh. Holy shit, has he always been that large? It's probably just mating pheromones messing with you: you see him naked frequently enough to know you're more or less evenly matched as far as size goes, maybe your bulge is a little longer and his has a thicker shape, but that's about it. It makes your skin run hot all the same.

"Need me to fuckin' beg?" you say through your teeth. He snickers.

"I'm taking that as a yes," he whispers, and you gulp as he shifts, balancing with his hands on either side of your head. You can feel now the head of his bulge pressing against your nook, but he doesn't move at first, and you're about to protest again, when his words, half whispered against your neck, surprise you.

"You're too tense, ED. Breathe."

You hadn't quite realized that you'd been holding your breath and how tense the muscles in your legs were. You breathe in, breathe out, listening to Sollux lazily licking and nipping at your neck gills, one of his hands rubbing at the base of your horns. It's almost gentle, almost calming, and it's weird and embarrassing to have your kismesis do this to you, but you realize you need it. As much as you don't want to admit it, the tension in your body is not just eagerness and anticipation at the thought of what's about to happen. Fear is definitely there as well, an absurd, primal, subtle form of fear, not of physical pain or inadequacy, but of something deeper and much more complicated to admit. Fear of being violated, of being that vulnerable to someone else, fear you won't like this at all, fear you'll end up liking it a bit too much, fear you will be hurt and not in a physical sense. Suddenly you understand exactly why he stopped. And you also realize, with a sudden shock, that you trust him completely. You trust your kismesis to hate you, to tease you and challenge you, and always to respect you.

This is it. This is how it should be, this is exactly what you've been looking for in this quadrant for all your life. The thought feels so perfect it almost hurts. You take his hand off your head to bring it to your lips, nibbling at his bony wrist, and he hisses.

"Ready?" he whispers breathlessly over your earfin.

"Yes," you barely manage through clenched teeth. He shifts behind you, nudging your knees further apart with his.

"Take a big breath," he says, and as you do as asked, he presses into you. You're relaxed and aroused enough that the head enters easily, barely stinging at that first stretch, and as he pushes in further your body welcomes him and wraps tight around him, the faint pain burning away in a pleasurable wave of heat and fullness. You can't almost believe how good this feels, that hot pressure growing inside of you, feeling how he gets thicker along the length, and you really had no idea you could even feel this way. You gasp and shudder when he gets all the way in, and behind you he groans, sinking his fangs in the back of your neck. Then he starts moving, thrusting hard into you, and everything becomes a blur. He feels amazing inside of you, magnificent, hot and large and fast and rough just like the way you want it, every thrust feeling like a wave of scorching sparks through your sensitive flesh, vibrating and pulsing deep in your core. Your breathing is fast and heavy and you keep cursing under your breath and swallowing against the little needy noises forming in your throat, because you don't want to give him the satisfaction of having you moaning hopelessly for him, no matter how much you really, desperately need to. Just when it's starting to get really, really good, though, you feel him stiffen and slow down, almost stopping, and you huff in frustration, rolling your hips against him to spur him, but not obtaining much.

"What the fuck, Sol," you hiss through your teeth. "Can't even fuck me properly, can you?"

Your hips buck again and this time you earn a slap on the butt for your trouble; you gasp at the sudden surge of heat, your body clenching delightfully around his length. Sollux pulls at your hair and you turn your head barely to look at him for the first time since he tackled you. He's covered in sweat and shaking, his mismatched eyes like glistening, burning gemstones.

"If you don't stop that I'm gonna come right now, asshole," he hisses, his voice unsteady, just before his fangs jab your lips in a fierce kiss. You have a moment to take in the thought that your kismesis is actually trying to give you time to get off before him, then his hand plunges under you to squeeze at your bulge, hard, and you can't quite form thoughts anymore. He's still moving inside you, although slowly and carefully, and your bulge curls frantically in his hand, your shame globes swelling up and clenching around him and only making everything more intense, and soon your voice is breaking and you stop holding back your moans because you don't give a fuck anymore and god, good god, you had no idea it would feel so good, to have him fill you up and touch you at the same time, to be pleasured so completely, and you're almost there, you're almost there and he's picking up pace again and suddenly everything melts away into maddening, piercing heat and your release spills on the bedsheets under you. Sollux stops abruptly and drops limp over you, panting, and you figure he must have come as well because you can feel his warm fluid trickling down between your thighs. For a moment he stays perfectly still, then he pulls out, making you shudder, and drops by your side. You don't have the strength left to do anything more than cross your arms under your head and turn slightly to look at him, lying still by your side, eyes closed and covered in sweat. A crooked grin appears on his lips and he gives you a lazy butt squeeze.

"Nice ass, fishdick," he says. You flush, feeling the skin slightly stinging, but grin in turn, reaching back to grope his ridiculously skinny ass in turn.

"Wish I could say the same, Sol. No meat in here, just a weak little lowblood ass," you tease. He raises an eyebrow and cracks you a sly smile.

"You're at this again? You should know by now I have other qualities." He chuckles as you flush at that, then he frowns, looking at his hands, dirty with both of your colours. "Ew. Ok. Where do you keep your hipster towels?"

"You are aware this is a bedroom, yes?" You raise an eyebrow at him. "My towels are where they're supposed to be. In the bathroom cabinet."

He snorts a chuckle.

"Ah ah ah, ok. So you high and mighty seadwellers don't jerk off like the rest of us lowly lowbloods? Sure. Sorry for assuming!"

This time you flush right up to your earfins and they vibrate. You grit your teeth.

"Ok, first of all, how and where I jerk off or not is not any of your fuckin' business," you mutter, raising a finger. "And second, towels are fuckin' disgustin'. I so didn't want to think of Zahhak now. Third, don't move."

He gives you a surprised look and you try very hard not to meet his glance as you lean over him to reach in the first drawer of the bedstand by his side. He tries to turn around to look at what you're doing, but you keep him pinned down with your weight this time.

"C'mon, just stay put," you grumble under your breath, and he chuckles.

"Oh, now don't tell me you expected me to really stay put after you told me not to move! Now I'm curious as fuck!" he whines, trying to tickle you and not accomplishing much. "Uh. The fuck is that?"

You groan and hurriedly close the drawer before he can see something else, then sit up by his side, holding up the object of his attention.

"This, you uncultured oinkbeast, is a natural sponge. It's so much better and more hygienic than towels, and much more than your sorry ass deserves. Back on Alternia it was worth a fortune," you say, handing it to him. He looks surprised as he wipes his hands in it.

"Oh. Well, it is pretty soft, and does its job." He flushes and visibly shivers as he cleans off his groin and between his thighs, and you smirk. "Shit, this is good. Towels always chafe a little."

"Told you so," you say, cleaning yourself with the sponge in turn. As you wipe it between your thighs, you notice you're dripping a lot of the ugly milky chocolate your colours become when mixed. "What the fuck. Is this normal?"

Sollux snickers and nods.

"Yeah, quite. I'd keep an eye on those pants if I were you." 

"Shit," you hiss, and spring up quickly to kick your pants down to your ankles, doing your best at the same time to keep the sponge between your legs, which makes the movement pretty awkward (and funny to watch, judging from Sollux's chuckling), but oh well, in the end you manage to avoid the worst and sit back on the bed. "Well. If we had a bucket this would be a good moment to sit on it, I suppose."

"Good choice of words, ED," Sollux says, furrowing his brow. "If, because we don't live anymore on a shithole planet where we were forced to fuck at forkpoint and release into buckets for the good of the race, and you know what, I don't miss that world at all, thank you very much."

You groan.

"Oh my god, I don't miss that either! It was just... I don't know why I said that. It just... came to my mind that a bucket would have a practical use even here, that's all."

"If we ever got a mother grub back, you mean?" Sollux says, and you have to close your eyes for one moment because as much as you have faith in Kanaya's work, remembering what you did to her during the game still hurts.

"Yeah, I suppose so," you say under your breath, carefully avoiding to look at him. For a while you keep opening and closing your mouth, as if anything that came to mind didn't quite make sense, fiddling with the sponge. Then you're surprised when Sollux clears his throat.

"So, um. Just to be clear. Was that your funny roundabout way of asking me if we are, you know... a thing? You know, speaking of buckets because that would be 'our bucket', and stuff like that."

You almost choke on your own saliva for a moment. 

"Uh, well, I... I guess I... ehm," you mumble, carefully avoiding his stare, and he snorts at your rambling, but doesn't sound nearly as amused as he usually is from your stupid antics.

"C'mon, ED, don't get coy with me. It's embarrassing," he says, poking at you with a bony toe.

It takes you a few tries to speak.

"I am black for you, Sol. Yeah I know it was kinda obvious by now. What I mean is that... it's not a pastime for me."

And you're worried that it might be for him instead, but you leave that unsaid. Sollux sighs, and sits up by your side.

"Ok, I gathered as much. Um. ED, I hope you know that I keep harassing you because I hate you, not because I'm bored, or because I don't get enough sex. But the thing is... my quadrants are kind of screwed up. I don't know if you noticed." You frankly think 'screwed up' is a bit of an understatement, but you say nothing. "KK used to tell me I have committment issues, like he's the one to talk. But in a way he's right. My problem is committing too much, if anything."

You nervously clear up your throat and really, really hope this is not shaping up to one of those 'it's not you it's me' talks that end up with the recipient being dumped because it sure sounds like it. 

"I know that, Sol. I know that, and I still hate you, and not in a bad way. I don't really see what your point is."

You risk a sideways glance at him and see him snort and shake his head.

"Sure. You don't see it now, that it's all new and interesting. But I know you, ED. If you had black leanings for someone else I wouldn't give a shit. Go ahead, have your fun, see if I care. But what if I did?"

This time you turn to him abruptly, flushing, your eyes going wide. What the fuck. What is he trying to tell you? Does he just want an excuse to dump you?

"There you go. You have your answer," Sollux says with a bitter smile. "And for fuck's sake ED, I don't feel black for anyone else, I'm just making a point. I'm polyamorous to the bone, you are not, and you are judgemental and possessive as fuck to top it off. You think I don't notice you cringing when I hug AA of all things, as if that was even your fucking business? You give me the little barkbeast eyes even when I make fun of KK, and I can't even tell if it's me or your friendship with him that you're jealous about!"

You grit your teeth and look away, frowning. You'd like to object that people like Feferi and Karkat whom he actually cares about are just as possessive as you, they just handle it better. You'd like to object that you cringe when he's with Aradia because he's an asshole that doesn't know how to treat a lady, and you think Fef deserves better than to be 'the other matesprit'. But you carefully avoid saying a word because you know that would be pretty much proving his point on the judgemental part. And you perfectly know you are the jealous type: you've had quite some time to figure it out, having been unrequitedly flushed for Fef and pale for Kar all your life.

"And just to be clear," Sollux goes on, "I'm not trying to go holier than thou on you, this is not about morals and shit. It's just that... well, that we are two people who need different things, and if we're going to be in this for the long run we have to find a way to make it work for both of us. Or sooner or later we're going to start hating each other in the wrong way, and that's the last thing I need, really. So... is it going to be all easy peasy, dynamite and great sex all the way without a worry in the world? Well, of course not. And I guess even you are not that dumb. But if you wanted to know if we are a 'thing', the answer is yes. We are kismeses. And if KN succeeds and we get a new mother grub, we can have a bucket of our own if that's really important to you."

You clear up your throat, looking intently at your hands. You really liked how his voice sounded as he said the word - kismeses. Plural form, implying a relationship. You didn't really like the rest of the rant - although he did not say anything more than what you already knew, to be honest - but you feel a little less insecure about it all.

"I think I... um, I'd very much like that, yes," you say, flushing a little. Sollux smirks and gets up, starting to redress himself.

"I didn't think you had it in you, really. Sex is one thing, but combining your genes in the slurry with a lowblood? I'm surprised your fins aren't curling up in disgust."

"Ok, for starters, they don't really do that." You snort and start getting dressed as well. Luckily your pants seem to have emerged the experience unharmed. Unfortunately you can't say the same for your bedsheets. Damn. Now that's something a towel would have come in handy for. "They flare, they flutter, they do a lot of funny thin's but they don't curl. That's just not normal. And second, history is full of odd pairs that made very strong and successful kismesissitudes, and that's what makes the selective advantage in the slurry, as you'd know if you'd got schoolfed properly instead of spendin' all nights playin' dumb games and polishin' your bulge."

"Sure, you keep thinking that," Sollux chuckles, "I just think someone here has a lowblood kink and is even getting sentimental over it!"

"Am not!" you say, with a much higher pitch than you meant to. "I still think you're filthy and disgusting and that's what makes you a good match, that's all!"

"Aww, I hate you too, asshole," Sollux says in a mock saccharine tone, and tries to reach to ruffle your hair, but you bat his hand away, to which he replies by flipping you the bird and sticking out his tongue. "There's my man! Proud in his highblood assholery. Now," he sinks a hand in his pants to retrieve his ever present palmhusk, "KK has been bugging me all day to go out, he must be bored as fuck. Wanna come too? Let's try not to make it a hatedate though, KK would feel like the odd man out and go depressed on us."

Your eyes go wide as you put on your cape. Is he actually inviting you out with Kar? To hang out? Like a couple and a mutual friend?

Holy shit this is really getting serious then.

"Oh, um... sure, why not?"

Sollux gives you a thumbs up and starts fingering the palmhusk for Karkat's number.


End file.
